now

so today, I came online to see someone rudely link me to an awful blog ful of loads of bullshit all about me. At first yes yes yes I was so upset, felt ill that someone I thought had a heart could write utter shit about someone they'd once called a genuine friend. Now I could be an utter bitch and write so much about them to make them just as upset as I was, but that would bring me down to their level. That is something I don't want to be. I'm not heartless enough, obviously not as heartless as him.

the blog read like this:
'Discontent

i never intended to write deeply important shit about myself on here, but i feel this is the only way i will my make my voice heard with one shot.

a few days ago someone literally threw me into the bin, closed the lid and walked away. in a sense, i should’ve been disgusted…but i’m not. i’ll put it this way; my toy fell apart before i could throw it away.
a melting ice cream or a bit of fun you could say.
i fucked you around, i pissed you off whenever i pleased, i made you happy whenever i pleased, i gave you false hope when i knew you never stood a chance. i fucked around with your mind and i enjoyed it so so much and it took you so long to realise. why i even saw you or even called you my friend is something i still don’t understand, because you are worthless.
enjoy your shitty life, everyone is starting to hate you. you’re scum that no-one cares about.

some of those lines will come into some lyrics i’m writing for a new music project. but they all having meaning with effect.'

Lets start at the beggining.

'a few days ago someone literally threw me into the bin, closed the lid and walked away. in a sense,' - You make it sound worse than it was. I was saving my own skin from being totured by your horrible attitudes anymore. I had enough of it and didnt want to deal with it.

'i should’ve been disgusted…but i’m not.' - This whole blog might not show that you were disgusted, but it obviously shows you cared enough and were pissed off enough to write a blog about it. Even more evidence, I hadnt spoken to you for two day preivious and you'd writte 'gem stop ignoring me' on one of your other blogs.

'i fucked you around, i pissed you off whenever i pleased, i made you happy whenever i pleased, i gave you false hope when i knew you never stood a chance. i fucked around with your mind and i enjoyed it so so much and it took you so long to realise.' - This all true, but what did you gain from this... nothing. I gained everything I wanted from this. what you dont realise is that it was always in my hands. I never tried that hard with you to get exactly what I wanted. I could have walked away any time I wanted and you still would have been as vexed as this blog shows you are now. sure it took me a while to click that you were just the worst person i've possibly ever met but i did realise and it pissed you off so much that I finally did something about it.

'why i even saw you or even called you my friend is something i still don’t understand, because you are worthless.' - yes but you did genuinly think I was such a good mate of yours. You once even valued me as one of your best mates, which must hurt knowing that I never held you so close to me. You never came any higher than the people I already knew were my life, but I once came higher than yours. How much must your friend life suck.

'enjoy your shitty life, everyone is starting to hate you. you’re scum that no-one cares about.' - No one but you is starting to hate me... I can pull out soo many names of people that care about me. I have no idea where you plucked this bullshit from.

'some of those lines will come into some lyrics i’m writing for a new music project.' - THIS MAKES ME LAUGH!

its really raining

I know I said i'd have videos from leysdown. and I do but unfortunatly my computer hates uploading vids to youtube so your gonna have to wait. I've been back for like just over a week, maybe two. Leysdown was crap, any moron could have guessed that. Losts happened but the only highlight was maidstone, robyn coming down and the rare occasion when I got taken home for various things.

First of all, this summer holiday has been aweful. Really aweful. Weather has been horrid. I've not really dont much and I have actually experienced the worst days ever during this summer. First of all was 14th August. Results and dentist. need I explain more? no. and the second, I cant remeber the date. bit of a blur. but not long after the 14th. The gold inlay that the dentist shoved in my tooth came out so we went to an emergency dentist in rochester. Absolutly kakking it I was, and I had good reason too beacause they took 5 seconds putting in a temp filling 'cos only my dentist could put in a new gold inlay. I walked out that dentist crying my eyes out. All the way back to leysdown I was crying my eyes out, in the worst pain I have ever had! The day turned into a bit of a blur because as soon as I got back to leysdown I had taken 2 very strong paracetamols which knocked me out completely and I was asleep for hours! Horrible days!

So anyway, I'm back. Its raining. I'm bored. School on monday. Youtube is god.

Recently, my love for youtube has rocketed. I really fucking looove it. I love those kids (normally boys) that make the most random videos but refuse to upload them unless they are funny. and most of them are. but then you get addicted to watching them. wether they are funny or not. love youtube, love it!

As I said, I'm bored. I hadnt eaten all day and i was like 1pm so I thought. cure boredom; eat! So I made myself 1 slice of cheese on toast and I decided to count how many calories were on this one slice. I weighed everything properly etc etc. I normally have danish bread which is half the calories of normal bread but unfortunatly, didnt have any. So I worked out that with normal bread, 10g or normal cheese (not sure which one we use :/) and 5g of light butter it is 160 calories. I'm quite impressed. I though it'd be much more than that. with the cheese and everything. THIS IS HOW BORED I AM!

Also, lately, been getting a lot of un wanted agro from males. Its not nice. Obviously not gonna completely spill my love life in a blog. but it is quite litrally doing my head in. So I've decided to get rid of this agro and the boys! they probs wont get any warning but what the hell!

In other news. no mcdonalds is going well, not had any since march 13th! Dont really fancy it. Makes me feel a bit ill. However, the 'not eating meat' thing isnt going too well. I really do like meat too much. However, i'm trying my hardest. Mums going shopping today. I'm making her get me meat free everything because it doesnt taste too bad. So yeah, good luck yo me!

byez!x